Gimmick Garage: Ron “Home Run” Derby
Welcome to the Gimmick Garage, where Crave Cravak stores his original wrestler gimmick ideas. If you happen to like any of them, comment below.
Picture a bulging baseball player entering the ring. The bell sounds and instead of putting his bat aside he winds up and hits a home-run on his opponent.
Encore
TYPE: Heel (possible face)
LEVEL: Lower card
COMPATIBILITY: Has a baseball manager as a pseudo manager. Could be placed in a tag-team or stable.
Theme: Baseball / Roid Rage
BODY TYPE: Chris Masters / Rob Terry –> Bulky/Bulging but not overpowering or too tall (Batista/Matt Morgan).
RING STYLE: Brawler / Classic wrestling
TNA 2012 MAXIMUM IMPACT IV, Manchester date review (27th January)
I was already looking forward to seeing Sting on this tour – it’s been his first visit to the UK in a decade, and probably his last ever appearance here – but then days before the tour began Hulk Hogan announced he would also be making his first visit to the UK since 1994. This was going to be unmissable.
We set off to arrive at the MEN Arena in plenty of time, enjoy a beer and browse the merchandise before watching the show, but we ended up stuck in traffic just outside Manchester. The show’s starting time of 7:30 came and went, and although we were getting constant updates from friends at the show, sitting in the car waiting for the traffic to improve was painful. We eventually made it to the arena around 9, parked the car and rushed down to our seats, just as the interval was ending and the second half of the show was beginning. We’d missed four bouts, including Austin Aries, Crimson, A.J. Styles and Mickie James, but the real good stuff hadn’t happened yet.
The first main event of the evening was for the World Heavyweight Championship, with current holder Bobby Roode up against Samoa Joe. Roode was getting some big boos and Joe was getting just as many cheers, but Bobby managed to successfully defend his title in a well-paced match. Joe stayed in the ring for a while afterwards, pulling out an English flag and showing his appreciation for the fans’ support.
Hulk Hogan appears on UK TV show Loose Women
This is one of the last TV shows you might expect a wrestler to show up on, but yesterday Hulk Hogan had a chat with the hosts of Loose Women to promote the TNA “2012 MAXIMUM IMPACT IV” Tour. That’s taking place in the UK over the next three days and I’ll be attending the Manchester show tomorrow, so I’ll have a review to bring you shortly. I’m looking forward to seeing Sting, Kurt Angle and Hulk Hogan in action.
Gimmick Garage: Encore
Welcome to the Gimmick Garage, where Crave Cravak stores his original wrestler gimmick ideas. If you happen to like any of them, comment below.
What do you get when you take a wrestler like Drew McIntyre, mix him with a scary looking Superman 2 villain and place him in an arrogant thespian’s shoes as a modern theatre themed incarnation of Goldust? You get…
Encore
TYPE: Heel
LEVEL: Midcard, possible one-time shot at a face heavyweight champion
COMPATIBILITY: Could have a theatre themed manager, could also be useful in a bizarre-esque stable, or to form a freakish tag team.
Theme: Theatre/Drama/Acting
BODY TYPE: Drew McIntyre / Golddust –> Tall, lengthy, athletic
RING STYLE: Technical / Matt Wrestler / Submission Specialist
WRESTLEMANIA XXVII CARD
Before you think you’ve stumbled upon the spoiler card for Wrestlemania, please understand this is merely a realistic fantasy card for the 28th installment of WWE’s superbowl of sports entertainment. Back in May, I pictured myself in Mr. McMahon’s seat as I penciled in possible matchups. First let’s put all those wet dreams of Sting signing a WWE contract to job to the Undertaker and Brock Lesnar leaving a lucrative deal with the UFC for a one time shot at Wrestlemania. Sure we can all have our dream matches, but let’s try to be realistic here. More importantly, to save my creative skin, please consider how this was thought up back in May.
DISCLAIMER: RingWriters is not affiliated with WWE and by no means is promoting or representing their products.
In all, there are eleven matches, not counting the dark match, and would ideally fit into a 4 hour PPV broadcast. Though given how some of the matches are not likely to occur, I think it would be safe to cut one or two of them and fit it all in a 3 hour format. Even if some of the matches are short, the WWE can always give the fans a prolonged rematch on the house show circuit. It pains me to leave out a traditional tag match for the title, but given the current state of tag teams in the WWE, it’s doubtful there would even be teams worthy to compete on the card. Overall I’m excited at the prospects and would definitely trek to Miami and buy myself a seat in Miami. The matches appear in reverse order from the main events to the opening matches.
PLEASE COMMENT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS, CONCERNS, AND OTHER IDEAS FOR MATCHES.
Champion of Champions Match
WWE Champ Alberto Del Rio VS World Heavyweight Champ Randy Orton VS US Champ Miz VS IC Champ Christian
Championships need to be important again. This match would in fact close the show and would feature the four current champions in an elimination match with every title on the line. Therefore, titles could change hands throughout the match with the idea being that the winner will hold all four titles, which in fact would happen. Then following wrestlemania, the champ can parade around and possibly have a feud with Chris Jericho (first ever undisputed champion) before three of the titles are put up for grabs in meaningful tournaments. You may also be wondering how the winner of the rumble factors in here. Well, they don’t. I would have had the winner of the rumble becoming either the WWE or World Heavyweight champ, thus no longer using the Rumble as a mere stepping stone towards Wrestlemania. I want the Rumble to stand alone on its own. The wrestlers chosen can easily be switched with others, but the match itself should stand. In this version I’ve got two heels (Del Rio & Miz) going against two faces (Orton and Christian). Among them there is enough presence, fan buy in, and talent to put on an epic match. I would have Orton win it all.
Candid Crave: Squared Circle Dreaming
When your body turns off the lights what does your subconscious cinema play? Do your childhood fears manifest themselves into a nightmarish broccoli stalking you down the street in your underwear? Or do you get the nerve to ask out that beauty behind the bar? For me, it’s different. My real life dreams manage to work themselves out in this unrealistic but believable context. A solid 25% of all dreams involve professional wrestling; the majority featuring me being hired to work for WWE Creative. This occurs usually by a chance meeting with Vince McMahon. When these dreams started a few years ago I was hailed as a genius, though lately I’m treated more like a peon. The realization that someone as imaginative as me will never get the chance to create freely under a one-man show operation (WWE) has seeped its way in. It took a heart felt talk with one of the sport’s top stars to break it to me that as long as Vince McMahon holds all the cards, it’s just not worth my time.
Though, somewhere in my veins there must be an optimistic sap. The dreams just won’t go away. For instance, last week one had me watching TNA’s Impact Wrestling attempt to boost ratings with the questionable opening bout of Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper. Then today for the first time I made an appearance as not a writer, but as a…wrestler. I was on tour with WWE, but what must have been a “minor league” operation for none of the talents were from real-life and were unrecognizable to me. Plus, we were performing in an arena with barely enough seats for a girl scout meeting. But what’s stranger is that I was walking around in tights. You may not know, but I’m a 6 foot 1 man in the body of a 160 pound boy. If I have muscles, I’ve never seen them. Maybe they’re on loan at the Smithsonian, or my parents pawned them before I was born. Though I’m proud of my dream director for not casting me in some far fetched gimmick. You can’t exactly see me “Goldberging” my opponents, in fact I wouldn’t even fit the bill for Gillberg. I was named “Steve Slimmer,” and I paraded around as a body builder yet I obviously had never lifted a weight in my life let alone any past lives. The intentional contrast of my persona was certainly fuel for a comedic heel role to the tune of a heel Zack Ryder or Mike Bucci’s Simon Dean gimmick.
I’m not sure what my future dreams hold, but whatever they are, I’m going to take notes. And you never know… maybe one day they’ll be playing in your reality.
Non-Title Abuse
On the October 31st edition of WWE’s Raw Supershow, three reigning champions lost in non-title bouts. Talk about scary. While fitting for a Halloween episode it most likely only motivates viewers to tune in less frequently. WWE officials have been keen to show off the top stars on both Raw and Smackdown Super Shows, but apparently they have no regard for the championships they hold. As each belt represents their respective wrestler’s supremacy, every competitor wants to reach that peak. Consequently, the audience is pre-subscribed with the notion that no climb is compete until they strip the title -holder of their belt.
In a cartoon world, the belt is like He-Man and Lion-O’s swords. Without their swords, they’re just another cast member supporting the main character(s). The children and this 30-year old know that as long as those hyphenatedly named heroes have their sword they’re never going to lose. Skeletor and/or Mumm-Ra will have to take it from them in order to reign supreme. So tiny tikes will lose their allegiance to their heroes when they sip their cereal broth watching He-Man single-handedly beaten in a fair hand-to-hand combat with Beast Man. The same happens when Read the rest of this entry
WWE Belt Makes Unlikely Appearance
While scanning YouTube for the latest K-Pop songs, I came across a most unlikely prop: the WWE championship title. The Korean girl group, 2NE1 does not appear to have any affiliation with the WWE, though respect for them prominently placing the belt. In addition, I couldn’t help but notice one of the singer’s sporting a Rene Dupree esque poodle. Enjoy!
Sting Crashes Hogan’s Retirement
The promo
Hulk Hogan’s ‘farewell’ on October 6th’s Impact Wrestling was a superb piece of wrestling drama. It danced across the line between truth and fiction, it toyed with the fans’ emotions and it featured Sting in a red and yellow Hulkamania suit.
Hogan’s retirement announcement on the previous week’s Impact was delivered with a fair amount of emotion and sincerity, leading many fans to believe that he was legitimately leaving TNA. So as he made his entrance on Thursday’s Impact, the full-to-capacity Knoxville Coliseum went nuts. Lately, his appearances haven’t been greeted with much enthusiasm, but here all was forgiven and the fans expressed their respect and appreciation.
Hogan began his farewell speech, making sure to mention how much he was enjoying being in Knoxville. The crowd lapped it up and even interrupted him by chanting his name, and it was great to see Hogan himself having a good time and busting out the old hand-to-ear gesture. This is a side to him we haven’t seen for a long time, and both he and the fans understood that what was being said at this point was from the heart.
Next Hogan mentioned how he’d been interacting with his fans through Facebook and Twitter, telling one fan to make the 10-hour drive to see the farewell show, and if you go back through Hogan’s Twitter page you can see tweets such as “Pumped for Knoxville Impact show tonight,it’s gonna be hard to say goodbye to HULKAMANIA.”
The celebration was in full swing, but there was a twist in the tale to come — cue Sting, who entered the ring dressed in Hulk’s red and yellow, like a nightmarish Ronald McDonald. Just as he had done during Hogan’s announcement the week before, Sting attempted to belittle Hulk and squash the emotion of the situation, and as the crowd were swept up in the euphoria of Hogan’s promo they began to boo Sting. Sting was now the bad guy for interrupting this celebration of Hulkamania, but the tables were soon to be turned again.
As Sting spoke it became clear that he might, in fact, have some evidence that proved this retirement was a sham. Hogan protested, but Sting showed some CCTV footage of Hogan chatting backstage with Eric Bischoff, and the results weren’t pretty.
In the footage Hogan revealed that the retirement was fake. Whereas minutes earlier Hulk had been praising the fans for a great reception, he and Bischoff were now tearing into Knoxville with some pretty personal and offensive remarks. Talking about how the fans had mortgaged their trailer homes to buy Hulk Hogan memorabilia and how the women don’t even have teeth is a sure fire way to turn an audience on you.
The fans were now booing Hogan, who worked himself up into a frenzy and challenged Sting to a fight at Bound For Glory. He even threw in ownership of TNA for Sting and Dixie Carter if Sting manages to win — those are pretty high stakes.
The outcome
The fans felt cheated after Hogan’s retirement had been proven a sham, and I think that them feeling such extremes of emotion for Hogan in this one promo is what made it so special. Another interesting point was how Hogan had interacted with his fans, using social media to sell this as a legitimate farewell. The problem with wrestlers on Twitter and Facebook is that sometimes we see too much of the real person, and not much of their in-ring persona. Here Hogan used Twitter to sell his storyline fully, and in the process probably legitimately annoyed some of his fans. I’m sure those fans who did make a 10-hour drive would have preferred to know beforehand that this wouldn’t be Hogan’s actual retirement.
Another result of this promo is that Sting has emerged as even more of a people’s hero. His constant attacks on Hogan now have grounds, as he has revealed Hogan for the scheming double-crosser he is. His efforts to turn Hogan and help him see the light seem to have fallen by the wayside in recent weeks, and now he simply wants to kick Hogan’s ass.
So Bound For Glory, TNA’s biggest PPV of the year, will have two must-see main events, and there is the potential for the World Heavyweight Championship to pass from Angle to Roode, and for the whole of TNA to pass from Hogan to Sting. This could be a pay-per-view when the good guys all leave victorious.
But if you were listening closely to what Hogan said on Thursday you’ll see that this matchup might not be the big event TNA fans have been waiting for after all. Hogan’s words were “You wanna wrestle? Hell no, I’ll never wrestle you! But you pushed me so far. You want a fight? I’ll fight you Stinger! I’ll fight you at Bound For Glory!” Hogan is physically in no fit state to wrestle, and his words prove that this is likely to be nothing more than a fist fight, much like Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart at WrestleMania 26.
However, TNA have built quite a bit of momentum of late, mainly off this Hogan vs. Sting storyline and Roode vs. Angle, so how Bound For Glory plays out will be an important factor in deciding the future of the company. To get yourself pumped for Hogan vs. Sting check out the preview TNA have put together, then tune in to BFG on Sunday October 16th.
Finally, while the fact that many fans thought this was Hogan’s farewell will have increased ticket sales to an extent, the attendance at the Knoxville Coliseum has supported the case for taking Impact out on the road more often. This show was attended by a capacity crowd of 6,000 — far more than the 1,400 that the Impact Zone holds. TNA seem to be riding a wave of popularity that’s coinciding with a loss of interest in WWE, and if they play their cards right they could mount a serious challenge to Vince in the ratings wars.
Raw Thoughts – January 2nd, 2012
Jan 3
Posted by cravevsworld
Monday, January 2nd 2012
RAW NOTES:
Recently I’ve attempted to watch RAW, but honestly it’s painfully dull. In order to occupy myself I’m going to actively blog during tonight’s broadcast.
DISCLAIMER: RingWriters takes no responsibility for the grammatical content as this was penned simultaneously USA Network’s Monday, January 2nd broadcast of WWE’s RAW Supershow.
TEASER: The teaser shrouding Cena in “Cena Sucks” chants was mystifying.
IN RING PROMO: Jon Cena
The theme song is done and now Cena already? At least let us anticipate the expected Cena-Kane altercation. The point of a teaser is to build up suspense. TV tabloid shows do this perfectly. Any scoop on “hot celebs,” a thrilling new coaster, or a feature on a man and his love affair with a hippo are always teased throughout the show but aren’t aired until well after a commercial break or two. Read the rest of this entry →
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